I bought a kettle the other day. The last time I bought a kettle I was 19 and wandering aimlessly through the Super 88 when a devious fancy overtook me and I snagged the $10, suspiciously tin-like container labelled, "Ketle". Never again ladies and gentlemen, for I have purchased the kettle to end all kettles!
This is a badass chunk of water-boiling steel. Also, besides heating water it could also double as a watering can, glorified paperweight, or unwieldy hand weapon. Regardless, my peasant days of huddling over an old battered pot waiting for steam to rise are sunsetting into a majestic tea-filled era of shiny whistling. Get your own anti-plebian, luxurious All-Clad Kettle. It's a necessity.